Finding beauty in my clean room, so tidy and neat. Everything put in its right place, so unlike the rest of my life. even the light falls differently it seems.
Falling in love with music, losing myself in its beauty. letting it surround me when i find so little beauty within myself some moments. just moments. usually i think i'm pretty, at least on the outside.
is it guilt? no not yet. i'm not ready to give up the things i want, what the natural me wants. i'm not ready though i know i should be willing. i know this not in my heart but in my mind, from what past experience has taught me. those lessons aren't strong enough though, not right now.
i procrastinate everything. i love to. why? it never brings satisfaction. except the things you can do during the procrastination, those are so so fun. so for now i'll have fun, hopefully lots and lots.
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