There are many things to put on a blog and it is constantly stumping me what i should put on mine. i love to put some part of myself out there, unprotected, in the open, on the W.W.W.
I have been wondering about relationships in my life, and how i do them. You hear "don't close yourself off to others". Of course i don't want to do that. i would never say i wanted to do that. But i wonder if i am doing that? When was the last time i met a best friend? You know i love you H. and E., but when did i stop connecting with people on that amazing level like i do with the ones i love most? Why can't you have besties more often in life? That may be another kind of question altogether, but i'm just putting that part of my mind out there.
then there are the romantic type of relationships. i've faced the reality that most of my "good stories"are ancient history. There are many reasons why that might be, but it got me wondering if i'm closing myself off to those types of relationships, too. Recently i had a feeling of anxiety/anger/fear/dread at the idea of (even someone else) being swept up in love, fully giving their heart so tenderly, vulnerably and openly. this was new and i didn't see it coming. i thought i was still all for that. i used to be for that right? i believe in love! ? Or am i unaware of issues i still have about "ancient history?" Am i giving love the cold shoulder without knowing it?
i'm meeting about 5 new people a day recently and i just hope that i'm not missing out on besties.
i dont even know if i want all of this on the WWW but part of what i love about blogging is that risk, but also the chance, that someone will read this, and it will mean something to them too, even if i'm giving something away in return. that's kind of like love isn't it?
1 comment:
that's a lot like love, I think.
I've been thinking about this same thing lately.
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