distractions

its like i'm on the edge of my seat waiting for something to happen to me. Like the top of a hill on a rollercoaster...but then it stops. I dont know if its something i've done, or if it's how it is supposed to go. should i get out and fix it? should i push myself over the edge, take control of the situation? I call feebly for help, but my heart's not in it.

so uncertain, i wait and distract myself from the problem. humming a song or texting until someone "in charge" comes to fix it.

i wait.

one day i'll notice that no one is coming and i need to figure this damn world out on my own.