The men I have been conversing with (and about) recently have brought this one issue to my mind quite a lot. And I think, this being my 10th post this month (thus setting a new monthly record for me) I shall rant about it.
Mind you, this is a generalization and these are only the examples that I've encountered.
What is a date?
Women: a guy spending one-on-one time with me, it may be serious, it may not. Mostly it's a getting to know you experience that "hanging out" can't offer.
Men: i pay, she eats, we kiss, the end. I only ask her out if i know she's interested, i know I'm interested, and i can see her having my babies.
This is the fundamental problem I've been debating for the past few weeks.
All of the women i've talked to about this have expressed about the same thing. We will go out with pretty much anyone on a first date. (given that we know them). This does not mean that we are desperate. On the contrary. We are open to getting to know a little better all the many different types of people that we know. We want to go out and have some fun? Don't you men?
It's the underlying mentality in "Dating" that is ruining the dating for everyone I know. Just take her out, ask her to dinner, see how it goes. You don't have to ask her out again, and we don't have to say yes again. A date is not a proposal, it's not even the beginning of a relationship. It's just time spent with someone you think could be pretty neat, not as a husband or wife, but just as a human. So men, stop being pansies and ask women on "Dates." We want to go.
3 comments:
this is why i always feel awkward because it seems like the boys are way more into me from the beginning (and I think they're insane because how do they know enough about me since we've never spent one on one time with each other before......)
I have to say that I fundamentally disagree Jana....sorry. I dont think a first date is a good way to get to know anyone. It is inevitably awkward, so know one can be themselves. This is not to say we should not date, we definitely should, but I feel like we need to hang out with people in groups first! Then we can get to know someone enough to know we even want to spend one on one time with them (or money on them) and it wont be so awkward that we want to shoot ourselves. Then go on a date and see how you feel. This has been my experience anyway, take it for what its worth.
Then why do some women shut down and reject dates so quickly? I believe they know it means something more than just "hanging out". As you said, it's an " experience that 'hanging out' can't offer". So, whatever that value added is, the offer and acceptance of a Date clearly separates those you are interested in with those who are just friends...and I believe this is true for both sexes.
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