comfort in the banal

you come back into the room, and we smile at each other. its simple and normal and casual and comfortable. in my mind the world pauses and i over analyze this simple moment. This is a moment where a nonchalant kiss might occur and it almost seems missing. my mind unfreezes the scene, reality hits, and i realize i can't have a nonchalant kiss with someone i haven't kissed yet... but i recognize this as the moment in my life where i see the potential someone has to fit into my every day life. we flow naturally, and almost banally when we're together. I'm never nervous, my heart doesn't even race.

i realize later, that i haven't nonchalant kissed someone in ages. While i usually yearn for the excitement of a hasty, slightly irresponsible night with someone, i'm now wanting the banal, everyday evidence of affection. Have I become a mature adult? Weird, i didn't see that coming.