i've been getting dizzy spells

i really have been getting dizzy spells recently. today was a moderately bad one. I couldn't really move my head or stand for about a half hour. i just laid on my bed waiting for it to pass. luckily i was pretty close to my bed when it began.

while contemplating why i get dizzy I got a little poetic i suppose.  like i've mentioned before, my body expresses it self to my mind.  The way i am feeling is reflected some way viscerally. so how am i supposed to interpret dizzyness?  i don't know which way is up? spiritually, that might be true recently.  i have mood swings. good day, bad day, worse day, better day, good day...etc.

my relationship to the idea of being in a relationship is another area of my life i can't get a grip on.  a couple of days ago i was completely apathetic to the idea of dating. it will happen it won't, my happiness or my ability to feel content with my life was not at all dependent on the men in my life. yet today i barely recognize those thoughts as my own.

i'm dizzy. my mind, my heart, my spirit. I keep changing my approach to different things, my beliefs? my faith in certain aspects of life in general.  I am productive, i am on top of things then i'm slacking everything i was progressing in, things i was happy doing. am i depressed? i think its different than that. its more of a lack of commitment to life. now that's a scary thought. why am i doing this to my self? is it self sabotage or merely laziness? these are questions that i don't feel i have the energy to get into. so i'll probably just wait for the next wave of "go get em" attitude. it should only take a few days.  until then i'll just try not to make any sudden movements.

pandora: fleet foxes. i can't stop listening.