there's a battle inside.

Brain and heart, they rarely agree, at least in my own body's experience. I hope that one day one can persuade the other and they'll be friends. Some days i don't know what side they're fighting for.

H: "You'll get hurt! and I'll die a little more and who knows what else!"
B: "You'll get hurt! and learn so much and be a better person for it!"

H: "Have so much fun, jump in, cause I've missed feeling this great!"
B: "Have so much fun, jump in, cause it'll only last a while"

Who's the logical one here brain!? I don't know which one's talking sometimes. Brain could be the romantic one today, but the businessman the next. I think they're just fighting out of pure confusion, like those shell-shocked soldiers who just start shooting anything that moves.

things running through my head today. this morning. last night. in my sleep. Do dreams really give you insights into your actual feelings? sometimes i don't know what to trust. The idea of reality, or truth is surprisingly fluid at times. Virtual realities....is that an oxymoron.

if i could objectively swim around in the mess that is my subconscious feelings it would be great. Then i could figure out how i'm feeling and what i'm thinking about how i'm feeling. What and where am i feeling these things anyway? Who's the referee here? my liver? Stomach? Who's the voice of reason over the bickering and debate? I'll just have to let the battle roar and see if my appendix decides to be a hero.