Window on the square

i get so used to thinking that no one in the world cares what i write or if i write. but I've gotten two requests this week to write more of my silly ramblings. (because that is indeed what they are)

i got some books for Christmas from my grandmother. old ones she read when she was my age. I've picked one of them up, called window on the square. its about this seamstress who some how gets roped into living with this secretive dark family to try and help their son who's the darkest of all.
i like it ok, I'm trying it out. it is my "work out book" which means i only read it when I'm on the StairMaster or whatever. it works, it makes things go by quicker.

all i seem to be thinking about recently involves a lot of names so I'm giving anonymity my best shot.

Recently my life seems to be like a drippy ice cream cone on a hot day. there is a little drip which you lap up happily, just to discover there's another on your thumb and then another on your middle finger. i can't keep up!! its not school or work or other responsibilities that have me feeling like melting ice cream (creamery ice cream probably). I am a woman who likes to please, the idea that someone is upset with me makes me very uncomfortable. maybe that's a bad thing, or maybe its a good thing, i am not sure. i know i can't please everyone , but i can try cant i ?

Lately i've been feeling like i cant. i can't simply because i dont know what people want from me. either i'm not asking the right questions or i'm not getting the right answers. There have been a lot of confused feelings, misread facial expressions and intentions, hurt feelings and the like. I cant read certain people as well as i would like to. And there's this overarching problem of not knowing what people want from me. maybe its because i dont know what i want from them?

these ramblings seem more silly than usual.

be careful for what you wish for .

oh and remember how i was 2 hours late for work this morning....drip drip.